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Lost

Lost- the mental state of not knowing where you're suppose to be. An exhilarating yet, unsettling state of being. Since I have embarked on this wonderful journey, I often catch myself feeling LOST.
It doesn't seem to matter where I am or what I am doing- I am simply lost. 

There are days I feel conflicted in the sense that I love where I am, I love the environment and for the most part I quite enjoy the community. On the end of it I continually find myself re mincing about back home. To be truthful- there isn't a hell of a lot that I miss, but the parts I do eat at me every day. It's a constant void in my heart. But that's why I am here and have chosen to take part in this journey, The journey of healing. 

A huge part of growing is learning to let go. Let go of what was,  what is and what will be. You can't change what has happened- so move on. You can't dictate your present being so enjoy the moment and more importantly you can't for-see every step in your future. If you're a person who say's other wise- you clearly live in a ridiculously routine lifestyle. 

It's been hard being away from everything and everyone I have ever known. I have also found great pleasure in getting to know the people around me. I have learned so much mentally through this journey. A year ago I would be caught dead doing something like this. I was comfort zone Cami. 

My biggest challenge has been living in the present moment. I still struggle with it, but as the days go by- in order to continue to stay here, I don't have any other choice but to live in the moment. The second I start thinking to far ahead that's when the anxiety kicks in and all hell breaks loose. So today's reminder is to live in the moment and enjoy where you are. 


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