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Mindset. Perspective. Value. PART ONE

I have this fear. A fear of being extraordinary, created by the belief that I will never be enough. That I will reach the tipping point of greatness only to fall short. So, you might say for the most part of my life, I found it "easier" to sit back... let life pass me by and accept the bare minimum. 
Where did that mindset get me? NO WHERE. Matter of fact, it wasn't easy at all... it is hard actively achieving the minimum amount of effort (if you want to call that an achievement at all) in fear of the fact that I might actually kick ass at something. 
What drove that belief????? EXPECTATIONS, and not mine. The expectations everybody else had for me in place of  my own. Instead of asking myself what mattered to me, I asked other people what mattered to them whether it agreed with it or not. Years have gone by and here I am, living a life for others. 
Now don't get me wrong, I've done some pretty good things in my life. Mediocrity wasn't always an option but with out a strong mindset, it's easy to let people take bits and pieces from you and break you down so that at the end of the day you truly believe you are nothing more than average. 
Key word there being "let." That is me, taking responsibility for my life with out placing blame on those who really brought zero positive benefits into my life. You might even say these people are positive energy leeches sucking out every ounce of happiness a person could possibly possess. 
Harsh- but a very true reality. Consider that a wake up call because if you haven't figured it out already, those people do exist. 
After that hard realization, the only thing I was left to do was pick myself back up and make the conscious CHOICE to either continue floating by in a boring, non- stimulating life or stand up for what I truly wanted and say "Fuck this bull shit! I was given this life to live it to the fullest!" 
Where did that leave me? Well for once in my life, I had to identify WHAT MATTERED TO ME. What did I value as a human being and also as an individual. 
So, I wrote a list from personality traits, to career ideals, even material things... you name it. 
And what did I find? Oh ya, that's right- material items are worthless and the only things that hold true value are those that can never be replaced. Yes, I am referring to family, friends... even strangers....I am talking about HUMAN CONNECTION. Something every single person on this planet craves.
Which led me to my second question, which was; if at the heart of my true existence I valued human connection above all, then what type of impact was I making by idly letting life happen to me? Very simple answer here, I wasn't making one at all.
Now that I have awakened myself to all these realities about my life and who I legitimately am as a person, I had another choice to make. A turning point, if you will... What was I going to do to impact this world? and what type of impact did I want to have? 
Some people will tell you IMPACT is black and white meaning you either have a positive or negative affect on society. Well i'm here to inform you that those people are WRONG.
In a world filled with multiple different perceptions on what life is all about, it's more common to actually influence people in both positive and negative ways simultaneously. Sit on that for a second before you think i'm totally out to lunch...
What does the term IMPACT mean to you?
Ideally this should mean 'opening your eyes to something you haven't seen before', which ironically can be both negative or positive realities that you become mindful of. Maybe you have become aware of the fact that your co-workers think you have a depressing personality when all this time you thought you were the life of the party, or perhaps you've achieved a personal weight loss goal you never thought you would because in the past you were in denial of your bad eating habits and now that you've become aware of them you were able to have that weight loss success... Something negative and positive. 
Impact is the value of the reality. Here's where it gets tricky but stick with me...
Your realities are only as real as the value behind them.
EXAMPLE:
  • If you care more about what so and so says about you over your own opinion of yourself then what they think of you is your reality. 
To find the value, you need to know what matters to you as individual. There is no right or wrong.       Your reality is what you create it to be. 

Ask yourself:
1. Am I making an impact in life? 
2. Am I being honest with myself?
3. Am I happy with how my life is?
4. Do I value others opinions over my own?
5. What negative beliefs do I have about myself and what can I do to change them?
6. Are my beliefs in line with my realities?
7. What is one thing I couldn't go a day with out?
8. Who do I look up to?
9. What are positive personality traits I seek in others?
10. What does the definition of value mean to me?

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