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Balance Series Episode 3 "Choice. Purpose. Destiny."

Do you ever catch yourself thinking "Why am I doing this?"  This has become a question I have been frequently asking myself when it comes to just about any aspect. This question easily ties into 'what is my purpose?'  and honestly does anyone really know. Generally speaking when we do something in our life there is a chain reaction that leads us to another thing and another and another. We all hope each chain of events leads us to our destiny or purpose, if you will, but unless you've got a sense of self-awareness, you will miss it entirely.
I've been that person who is always searching for more and missing what's right in front of me, hell, some times I still am that person. Being in school has really changed my view on life and who I am as person in many different ways. Here I am making a commitment to a career that will allow me financial freedom and stability and ultimately give me the opportunity build the life I always saw for myself. That being said, the idea of committing to one thing or even just the fact that I am solely relying on this one thing is a little scary. I keep thinking what if i'm meant for more and oops, in that instant I become that person again who is searching for the latter instead of taking in the moment. So I asked myself, "why am I doing this?" no body is making me go back to further my education, it's a choice I openly accepted and embarked down a pathway that I never thought I would get the chance to again.
The things here is, we do things because we want to do them. The words we say, the emotions we feel, the actions we give... are all choices we make because we want too. In world full of blame, at what cost are you willing to sacrifice your right to choose for letting life take it's course while you're too busy pondering the what if's and the why's. The answer is simple and I can't believe I didn't catch onto this sooner- why am I doing this? BECAUSE I WANT TOO & BECAUSE I CHOOSE TOO.  If someone asks you why you're doing something and you can't think of an answer, I hate to break it to you but your self-awareness is lacking BIG TIME. Part of seeking purpose is knowing who you are and what you want. Not sure what you want? Write that shit down. Get a piece of paper and write down all the things you want out of life, nothing is beyond reach. Then write down what you need to do to accomplish those things. Then do it. Everything seems impossible till it's done. Isn't that the damn truth.  I've spent so many nights wondering how I am going to get things done and putting unnecessary timelines on events occurring in my life that never needed to be there. You ever hear people say "go with the flow" well as lacks as that mantra sounds it's true. When you fight against the natural wave you're only causing yourself unnecessary stress and even pain in some cases.

I am forever learning and trying to be the best version of myself I can be. This means I fail, I learn, I fail again, I grow some more and the cycle goes on. The more I seek purpose the more I come to realize that perhaps a person can have more than one purpose and lead more than one destiny.

All I can do is what I do and what I do, is my choice. My choices are based on what I feel is best for me. Through every decision, comes a reaction and whether it be positive or negative I will allow myself to grow and learn from it. I will own it and move forward. For purpose is not a destination, it's the experience. What you do with your time, who you spend it with, your impact on society, your willingness to grow, adapt, challenge, overcome... purpose is the journey.

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