Planting The Seed

Through your eyes, The glass wall shatters, And piece by piece, Suddenly nothing else matters, The broken shards, Are stained with red, And nothing but sorrow, Is filled in your head, The fractured glass, Digs wounds in your soul, With the feelings of misery, That are taking their toll, Pierced by pain as the glass cuts deeper, Sitting and waiting for a miracle peacekeeper, Searching for signs of change to occur, And hopes of this all becoming a blur, Swept away with hope, And brought to clarity, A save haven for peace, And ultimate tranquility, A new life has started, With no broken glass in sight, For you have pulled through the darkness, To see the sunlight.  

As the festive vibe begins to dissipate and work resumes it place in my weekly schedule, I can honestly say that although I wasn't able to be with all my immediate family this year, I found joy and beauty in creating new traditions and memories with my own little family, in this new (ish) city, in a new home, with my wonderful little kitties and my love.  I am just shy of one year in this city and reminiscing down memory lane takes me back to the emotions I felt when I had first arrived. It was cold, I was alone and I wasn't sure if I would make it on my own. As time went on I was able to seek many new friendships, trudge through hardships to wind up in a beautiful home, safe with a roof over my head, a fridge full of food and clean laundry for days. Amongst the periodic chaos I find it's important to look back and remind yourself of how far you've come. As a new year is rolling in I've been thinking about resolutions to guide me through the next year ahead. Some d...

I dreamed that I could be, Everything you want to see, You think I am but I am not, I am not the girl you thought, You think less, but speak more, Most of which I choose to ignore, You don't know, what I've seen, Or the memories, of where I've been, Say what you want, And think what you will, Your ignorance has truly become a thrill, To break me down, says more about you, And your fears of which you can't accept to be true, I'm doing well, and living free, Living how I want to be.

Do you ever catch yourself thinking "Why am I doing this?"  This has become a question I have been frequently asking myself when it comes to just about any aspect. This question easily ties into 'what is my purpose?'  and honestly does anyone really know. Generally speaking when we do something in our life there is a chain reaction that leads us to another thing and another and another. We all hope each chain of events leads us to our destiny or purpose, if you will, but unless you've got a sense of self-awareness, you will miss it entirely. I've been that person who is always searching for more and missing what's right in front of me, hell, some times I still am that person. Being in school has really changed my view on life and who I am as person in many different ways. Here I am making a commitment to a career that will allow me financial freedom and stability and ultimately give me the opportunity build the life I always saw for myself. That being sai...

I would like to take a minute and get something off my chest...  Lately in the social media world I am coming across a substantial amount of posts that are all along the lines of: "The scale doesn't matter", "thiccc", "size doesn't matter", "I'll eat whatever I want" etc... all drumming to the "self-love" and "self-worth" trend.  Now at what point did being at unhealthy weight become ok to promote as self love? OH, that's right, it's not. When you are actively choosing to not fuel your body with nutritious, wholesome foods then add lack of exercise into the mix- I would call that self-loathe with a side of laziness but on the social media scene we call that "loving the skin your in."  These days it seems everyone has to walk on egg shells because heaven forbid we say the wrong thing... like the truth and someone gets offended! Loving yourself is choosing to eat nutritious foods to feel more ene...

On the hill tops, I hear your voice, As it roars by with the wind, It's softened tone, And comforting breeze, Could make one fall, Right to their knees, With a wistful view, That is changing fast, Forgetting a memory, That was not meant to last, You have picked me up, When I was down, You have helped me turn, My life around. My knees are unscathed, As I regain my balance, I am rising up from the dust and ashes, The wind still blows by, And I think of you, For that is what will get me through, My toughest days, And darkest nights, Forever keeping you in my sights, When the night turns to day, And the sun is shining, All I can feel is my universe aligning.

Relaxation with the side of guilt, alone time with the side of guilt, dirtier than usual house with a side of guilt and hint of frustration, feeling frustrated, sad, depressed, or even happy with a helping of confusion... ever notice how one thing is usually accompanied by some other confusing emotion or twist events??  Lately all I feel is guilt when I want to sit on the couch, put my feet up and relax because there are 7 million other things I could/ should be doing... The dishes need to be done, supper needs to be cooked, the laundry is still waiting to be folded, my living room table is dusty and the list goes on... Everything you think you should be doing in place of what you feel like doing. The thing i'm starting to realize is why do we make things so damn complicated? Since when was it not ok to follow how we feel?  If  I want to take an hor to relax... so what? The dishes aren't in the dishwasher yet but before I go to bed every night they're always loaded a...

I realize since I have began this blog I have never really made an introduction about who I am. As a writer I understand the importance of connecting to the author. Connection can be invoked by emotion, similar life experiences or just things you have in common.  On that note- here are a couple things to know about me! Hope you all enjoy!                                                 10 Things About The Author 1. Morning coffee is my favorite time of day. I love using hazelnut almond milk with a nice dark roast blend. I also drink it from the same cat faced coffee mug everyday. 2. A candle lit bubble bath is my favorite way to relax after a long and stressful day. 3. I tuck my two cats into their little beds every night before I go to sleep. 4. Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love to decorate the house, drink eggnog and spend time with my family. 5. ...

And so it begins... the dive in head first and hope it's deep enough kind of scenario. There comes a time in life where you sit there and think, man, what the fuck am I doing with my life?! That point where "adulting" becomes a real thing when you thought it was just some trendy hashtag... well it's not. Being an adult is the real deal. There is no do overs, no take backs, there is just you, time and what you do with your time. I admit, I spent far too long doing nothing productive with my time. Now that I am finally back in school, it really made me think, if I would have applied myself back in high school what career I could have had... and then I think well, the path I took made me into the person I am today and I am forever thankful for each experience I went through that moulded me into the strong, independent and intelligent woman I am right now, writing this blog. Squash looking back and what could have been because darling, that ship sailed. There is just the ...

If you follow my blog you'll notice a ton of random poems, and general entries of emotions that just needed to be put down in the moment. I have decided to start a new series within my blog called "Balance". The title heading for each segment will look like " Balance Series Ep. 1, Balance Series Ep.2", and so on and so forth. This series will be based on raw emotion and events occurring in my life. The struggle of balancing school, work, outside activity, a relationship, and all the day to day household chores. It can be very easy to feel like you're spiralling out of control and blogging is an easy and effective way for me to stay in control and give myself the release I need in order to remain BALANCED. If you're willing to follow my journey for the good and the bad then please follow my new Balance Series! I will be uploading 3X a week! Stay Tuned! xoxo